Currently chatting with Huda & Kai. Huda uh she really you know. Very too straight foward. I'm not thick skin lah babe! She told me to be staright foward to him, Iyllia, cause she says that I should start now. Pfft! Aiyo, it's really hard and it's a little to sudden.

"Its too hard to forget the things i had with u. Im just yearning for the love, care&concern, u pampering me. I miss all that. U were the one who build me up with confidence to love a guy again which is u. U were th one who i treasure most out of my friends, cause i believe we cld go far. U were the one who said, if i dont think negative stuff abt u, u say we cld go far. I feel hurt, why? Cause i put high hopes on u, u destroy it. I regretted slapping u. Im nt ashamed if u wanted to slap or beat me up infront of our friends cause i deserve it. I accept it cause im in the wrong. N i'll swear that i wld just let it go. So u wld nt even have to think abt it. I may be a bitch to you. But I still i loved you wholeheartedly n i didnt even took advantage of our love not even once cause i treasure our relationship real much...... *long text msg, something personal*......... I eel loved AGAIN, u made me love u even deeper. I tknk. I tknk saket hati, i pnat. I nak luperkan, tpi susah. Farhan even told me, u really love me so much. But why cnt u just show it to me? Why? It really hurts. Even after so long of crying for days nw, this little msg cld even made my tears roll down my cheek. I try to go on. I try to treat u as a friend, but its hard to accpet u as a friend.Its really hard, smetimes i think that i dnt event wanna befriend with u, just to clear my minds. Im loving u, still. Its up to u nk rply."

"I feel d same way too...but nvrmind,its ol over....i dowan to hurt u more...we'll tok again sumdae"

Idiot.

So I'm currently in the status of single but not available thingy. Hell yeah. But I'm not quite happy with it cause it's a little to sudden to accpet the fact that i'm already single after months of relationship with him. Yeah, it's time he needs a break and cool himself down and think over again. Like wtf? Why does it have to be him, cooling down? Sigh.. Sucky, very sucky. So before all this text messages were exchanged and more. I head down Fernvale on monday and watched the boys play takraw. So that night after days of missing, I saw him. Mcm wow kan? -__- So he was being so arrogant, ibarat macam aku ni tkder. Mcm sial. Lol! So to hall back and and the boys and myself played taiti and chatted. Suppose to be back home walking with Huda, I sat next to him and I talked to him for a little while. We end up arguing with each other. And one thing, I really hope the incident that has happen, won't happen. But it did.
Farhan wanted to send me home but I insist on staying until I could apologise to him face to face. And say whatever I want to say. Farhan even told Ajan to pass twenty bucks to me just to go home. Thanks alot, abg:) Then after the sun rises up I head down to his crib and so call 'spend time' together. The spending time together made me fall for you even deeper. Whats with that? And you too. And when I asked you something, you answered it the same as I said it to you. I'm confused with you. Okay, I just suddenly feel that I don't feel like writing down the rest. And yes.

"u tk rase bangge ker? u buat laki yg bkn dayus, jadi dayus?"
"u bkn jantan dayus, you're just fighting for your right, thats all:)"
*hugs tightly & tears roll down*

And it really really hurts me seeing Iyllia and my bestfriend, Deedee, cry.
:'(

So at night watch the boys play soccer and this time ribot siot turon, haha! I follow Farhan to Punggol the ride back to Fernvale and he send me home. And I met the boys again after they came back from Johor around 2plus and slack for a little while and home. Suppose to be swimming today, but it seems that they wanna play takraw I think.

i need shower, ciao!