Lovee's away for three days. He's in town, but he's away to his friends chalet. And being a good girlfriend, I'm sticking at home doing prolly, nothing. Actually, there is. Heh! And soooo, I was being honest with lovee yesterday. What am I gonna do for this year countdown and blah blah blah. And so he wasn't quite 'happy' about it. What to do. Okay, today post shall be about THIS year.

So 2008 wasn't a good year though. But still, memories are kept.

Relationship.
Early 2008 I was dating Alif. The guy whom I met at Sentosa, lol. It's a long story. So we dated for around three months and WE go our seperate ways. I'm not sure about his reasons. But I'm pretty sure whats mine. Now then I've realised I started partying so much until I'm so sick and tired of schools and only wanting to enjoy outside. Yeah. Was partying at Zouk, saw Deedee. And he says that he was with the rest. Dier punyer kwn tamp and budak fernvale. So I didn't even saw them. I was drunk, damn. Then met up with Deedee and the rest at Boat Quay. Was with long-time-no-see hotstuff, Samantha. That was the first time I met lovee, Ajan, Azmi and Mamat. Hahahah! Fiker2 balek, kekek uh. In the club (& outside), Ajan was sooo way interested in me, and I soooo don't like him at all. And while was chilling outside, the were chit-chatting. And I swear to god, I don't even like lovee at all. Cumer bebual macam gitu gitu ajek. And mulot dier macam pantart ayam!
A few months pass, I was like having a so call 'war' with this someone. And in the first place, he should have told me that he's with you. He shouldn't be shutting his mouth. So skip that part. First four months of arguing with him and someone. And then into relationships with him and then me asking for a break-up. Then we started to reconcile back due to his misunderstandings of feelings and me, I just can't forget about him. So till now, it's like already eight months of knowing him. Btw people, don't like "wah only eight months jek, belom setahun, dua tahun!" Well, eight months may be new but still we went through alot together. I miss you alot, pot pot.

I got sooo much to talk about THIS year. But I'm just too lazy to type it out.

& I DID NOT EXPECT TO BE WITH A CLUBBER FOR MONTHS NOW!! DANG!!

2 more days to meeting lovee.
3 more days to New year countdown.
10 more days to results.
26 more days to chalet.
29 more days to my birthday.

goodbye people, i need sleep.

Copycat me!(below)

soooo cute!

FUCK ITE!! FUCK THE RESULTS MAN!! SERIOUSLY!! There's a bunch of my friends and myself, of course, gets an unsuccessful results for the application and it sucks alot! And something unexpected from lovee's 'status'. LOL! Member punyer lah sort! Aku lagik sort! Tak dapat langsung! Fuck N(A) Student lah! Naek jek uh Sec 5! And I'm happy for my buddy and friends. Oh yeah, my bud, Poh Seng, gets Aerospace for his course. And Wan gets Electrical Tech for his course. Zamir gets service skills at Bishan, I think. And anyways, Good luck Alysha for your interview this coming Monday:)

So yesterday was a last minute plan to town. Lovee was bored so texted up the rest and only a few could join. Myself, Haziq, lovee, Zamir, Afiq, Wan, Aie and Mael. So christmas at town, lol. Met lovee, Zamir and Afiq at Far East and the boys waited or me at least an hour and forty-five minutes. Okay what! Rather than two hours, heh! So around Far East for a little while then off to Taka, and met up with Haziq, Aie and Mael. Off to Cineleisure and had dinner at Long John then Wan came. To Heeren and then bus ride to Marina, balek balek tempat si Zamir, sial btol. Pool for nearly two hours and then bus ride home.

So in the bus I was like talking non-stop with lovee, at least dier layan jugek. And then a text message from this guy friend of mine and the conversation between the both of us were different. So he said his piece and I said my piece, only talks no arguments. Yes! Thank god! Then tears roll down my cheeks and he asked, whats wrong and wipe away for me my tears and my 'taik mater'(not taik mater okay, my eyeliner lah!). -___- They get down at Yio Chu Kang while I get down at the interchange and the train ride. Thanks lovee for accompanying me through the phone till six in the morning, heh!

&&&&& I didn't expect someone to play pool, that good! LOL!
And MAYBE town later on, I guess! If I'm not tired!

I'm having fever and flu and my butt hurts so much! Whenever there's argument with him, I'm always falling sick. He even noticed it.

Okay currently lovee is beside me right now, hello sweetheart, LOL!

So last Tuesday I head down to East Coast since someone was having a pit. And lovee doesn't quite like me being close and maybe being friends with him. But come on, he's your friend and so is my friend. Oh that guy is Izzat, lovee's primary school mate and my friend which I've just met this year at Rouge. Eventhough he 'said' something to my bestfriend but oh well, forgive and forget. Except for the fact that some people just can't accpet what he said. So there were some familiar faces. Acul, Ady, Anand, Haziq and more. Make a move around eight I think and off to Fernvale. Okay the bus ride was really not a fun one. Since there's this someone which sucks alot. Nak marah-marah aku, ank cakap aku tipu ni sumer, padehal dier lagik rabak siol! The argue with him was really sucky. I accidentally shouted at him and him shouting back at me. And I know our friends yang dekat hall sumer terdiam. Aiyer, so sorry ehk!

Thanks Haziq for accompanying me. And he sure made me smile. Thanks to Farhan and Mamat for accompanying me too. Thanks Mamat for accompanying me all the way to the bus stop.

So yesterday was Fernvale. Lovee was being such an ass towards me. Last-last cakap aku yang action ngan dier, mepek sey. So the card games was funny, I guess. He asked me to follow him somewhere but not far from the place we sat. So he gave me a stick. And I started saying that I misses him real much. He kept quiet and he touches he's eyes and 'rub' it. Talked with him and he puts his hands across my shoulder and I gave him a kiss on his cheek. So slack for a little while and off to Farhan's crib. Internet and Mirror movie for a while and ate Briyani and internet for a little while and sleep. Okay, when I've reached home, I was having fever and backaching. And my butt hurts so much, damn. Don't think negative.

Some people would jump into conclusions. Like me, I admit. But some people are worst. It sucks alot. Fuck people like you. And the 'UNEXPECTED' thing you are talking about. Well, at that point of time, HE himself said that he was really furious at me. Because I've said something which I shouldn't have said. And if he were to said something unexpected, he shouldn't have 'INVITED' me! For God sake, but oh well. He do lie, alot. But the complaining thingy, maybe it can be something sucky or maybe not. So I won't know:) And I don't even wanna fuck about it anymore. And I don't even mind not going to the chalet at all. Heh!

Editted @ 2.07pm, 25th December

Today plan was to head down Macpherson to apply the courses for next year for ITE with lovee, since it was public hols so maybe tomorrow and today it shall be towning. But lovee wanna do something fun. So I'm not sure about it. And oh yeah, I'm picking Digital Animation for first choice at Macpherson and Facility Tech for my second choice at Simei. And lovee nak samer skolah kan ngan aku? Hahaha, lol! Tengok ehk macam maner. And I wish to get in Macpherson!!

Will update soon!
:)


I love you, naz.

Firstly my results sucks alot. Due to the sickness, I only had two subject passed. Saket salah hari sial! And if I were perfectly fine for that day, for that paper(s!!) I known I should have pass. And pass getting into Service skills. Damn!

I try to recall what has been going on for the past few days. I slack with the boys and more. Actually I can't remember that much. Videos of Zamir and me was soooo 'tak betol'! I'll post it soon. Okay, I can't remember much! I spend my Saturday with families, cousins, aunties and uncles at Simpang Bedok. We had dinner together.

And today soccer match was worth it, pretty much! So before heading down to Kallang, I met lovee up at his crib. Spend quantity time and had fun together. Then the rest head off to his crib then to Ajan's then bus ride to Kallang. Haziq and lovee drop down at Paya Lebar. Met them at Kallang and around, I don't know what that place call actually. So before the match started 'our' row was the so call, tempat yang paling meyumpah sekali! Lol! I had a fun night with them watching soccer and I love it so much. And 'us' with Singaporean's sitting just next to Vietnam was really interesting. Tak sia-sia! Hahaha! The fight between this pakcik and vietnamnese, the fight between an uncle and this stupid vietnamnese, the fight between singaporeans throwing stuff at vietnam was really hilarious! And our row of spectators was really using alot of vulgar! Including me, yes. And Beng part was really cute saying out loud the 'vietnam' word macam auntie auntie punyer suare. And him throwing an empty bottle and the reaction of the vietnamnese, kekek giler. Muker bodoh sia. And, the part where Vietnam was cheering, there's this mat, tunjok birbird, huh kao! Depan makcik lagik! Makcik muker merah, paiseh and laki boleh ketawerkan lagik! Like I say, hilarious!

Precious was slow. Alam had this one nice shot but misses it, takraw punyer backflip dok! Lionel was okay okay lah. Indra was cute running here and there. Bahaikki was soooo....sigh! Tak nampak Agu langsung seh!

"Nak kene beli ticket two days in advance siot ni!"
Member punyer lah confident! At last harapkan Thailand untok menang! Hahahah!

"Pukimak kao lah sial!!"
"Balek pegi tdo sudah!"
"Pegi jilat mak kao peh puki lah ehk!!"
Hahahah.

Eventhough Singapore did not get into the finals, but oh well the $2 entry, was worth it. Seriously. And Singaporeans burning their flag, I think. And some Singaporeans punyer lah sebok. Nak gadoh lah nak tu lah nak ni lah! Alah but whatever it is, Singapore still, the best. Hahahha XD And hello hotstuff! I saw Diyanah at the stadium :)

Someone punyer lah merepek nak mampos. And FOR GOD SAKE, PEOPLE DO LIE! :) Shithead, man. Hahahah! Jangan banyak bebual k? K go!


& FUCK VIETNAM!!

It's been days already lovee was going around with high fever, ulcers here and there in his mouth and his gum is hurting. I told you, I would accompany and pay for you your medical fees, since you don't insist on it, you're struggling on your own. -_- Well, for now I'm already feeling well, except that I'm having the same pain like what lovee is having and yesterday when I reach home I vomitted what I ate with Zura and Nana. My gum hurts so much and it's growing! Damn, it really hurts alot! My ulcers is gone, my fever has reduce. Putting myself to eat tablets every single day and which I really hate to do so. I miss lovee so much. Boo~

I'm very sick, very very sick. I'm having fever like days now. Since the day I spend my time at East Coast till now. My fever is going up and downs. I feel really shitty. And the loves all says that I'm falling sick each time when I'm too stressed and I think of stuffs. I agree to it. If not, I would be happily spending my time with lovee NOW! Boo~

Yesterday plan was to stick at home, since I was not feeling well. Since Deedee was at Admiralty, I met him and bus ride to Fernvale. It's been so long since I've last saw him. And the talks with him was really great, hahaha! We were like talking stuff behind "people's" back. Rabak-rabak siol. Lol! Slack with the rest and naseb baek aku saket, kalau tak aku dah serbu ketam-ketam korang tangkap! Slack with the boys till morning. Sun rises up, then went off to... alah bawah bridge Layar lah senang kater. Ajan caught some crabs. Then the rest came. So they caught... I can't remember how many crabs they caught. But there's alot though. Waited for th bus to reach and while waiting, lovee was being so action. Hahahah! Giget kao baru tahu! I sound soooo mentel, haha! Reached home, on the phone with lovee. And dier punyer lah gatal! And we, I'm sorry! It's HIM, been always talking and talking and talking about the same thing! When I say this, ader jek tao dier kene kan balek. And while he was saying something irritating and he keeps repeating it. I accidentally said something when I shouldn't say it at all! And I know he can't accept it. If it were me also, I can't accept it. But sweetheart I'm really sorry! I don't even know how to face you. Really:(

You kissed me, you hug me and more. Do you feel love or only lust? The question lingering on my mind. Not only one but thousands of questions on my mind. I was suppose to head down Clarke Quay yesterday but since my fever was getting worse. So I got myself ready and just slack with the boys at Fernvale. So I showed lovee something. And I can see that my attitude ain't that sucky towards him, over such matters! I don't know why. Probably, I'm USED to it already! Lol! So fishing with the boys was okay lah. And the time spend with you was not so great but it was good. I didn't expect myself to be such a nice lady, heh! Alah, USED to it already! And aper merepek tah Mamat cakap aku samer dengan budak tamp diorang. Aper sajer tah! Male some more -__-

I have a seminar later on with the long-time-no-see-cute-handsome friend of mine, DEEP! I'm so not sure whether I would head down to the offcie later on. Sigh! And the talk with Nana in the bus was so full of details. Hahahaha! If possible we will be booking chalet for our countdown this year. Since mummy have totally agreed! Yeah! InsyaAllah jadi yer. There's no need for you to have privacy lah slenger! Lol!

And someone very 'sick'! You know, I know.

I miss the old times I had with someone ALOT, not Nazry fyi.
Macam aleh2 gitu. So weird. Hahahaha!
Someone you guys won't think of. Well he's someone's now. I know whats my limit:)

will update more:)

Firstly first, Happy Birthday to Nazry's mum:)
_______________________________________________________

Those TYPE of people are human beings to lah ehk. Suker hati diorang lah, susah hati sangat kenaper? Mepek sak! -____- And don't judge:)

Hari Raya Haji was okay lah since I was ill. I was having backaching and high fever. So spend our time at Nenek's crib and blah blah blah. Then we had dinner at Siam Kitchen then to Swensen. Punyer lah giler makcik aku ni ngan mummy mummy aku skali giler! Oh, mummy says MAYBE she's paying half the price for our chalet or MAYBE full price. And in that case we only pay for our junk foods. So maybe Aloha Changi or Loyang uh. But whatever it is I prefer Changi, heh! I still remember the time I had fun with Yanti's friends. It was really awesome! I miss those times like alot! And I miss Fernvale chalet like alot too!

I had nothing to do with anyone's friends. Secondly, I simply got no time for that. And I already have my OWN friends :) :) :) :) And lovee says whether I would wanna tag along to his friend chalet, but then fikir fikir balek, tak payah sudah. Cause I know someone won't like it and I know they won't have any privacy nanti, hahaha! I told lovee that I won't be letting him to go to his friend chalet, because of some reason(s). I'm really bad ehk. And one more thing. Jangan cakap asek-asek nak dengar cakap aku jek. Aku pon dah penat lah asek nak ikotkan kater kao jek!

So lovee(i dont know why the heck i'm still calling him 'lovee'), won't say anything, won't answer to my questions that I've given him. Which I think, however hard it is to get an answer from him, he knows that I would have wild imaginations about this stuff. Jangan nak cakap asl boleh lempar taik ke paper lah ehk k sayang? I know you did wrong behind my back, so admit it. Susah sangat ker? Paleng2 pon kalau kao cakap yang btol, at least aku tahu per. Bukannyer aku tak tahu. Daripader aku dapat tahu sendiri lagik macam sial kan nanti. Bodo la u ni! Hahaha! And don't say she's not saying the truth. If she's not saying the truth, asal mesti dier tulis gitu macam? Asl mesti dier cakap pasal kao? Asl mesti dier cakap itu ini pasal kao? Tak terfiker ker? I thought my very own boyfriend was an intelligent guy, but I'm wrong. He's such an asshole. I feel slightly hurt(because it's you who i am in love with!) when I write something crucial about you, but I just can't seem to stop talking about how you make me hurt and more.

You kept asking me why? Why and why? Am I like this? You should ask yourself WHY the heck am I like this bitch. You know all the fucking answer to all my actions. After the so call 22nd November what did you promised me? What did you said to me? I remember all those words clearly! You said that you don't have any feelings for her but you care for her. I accept that. But not more than that. Which I was referring to was those disgusting actions you did. If you don't have feelings for her and you ONLY cared for her, why must there be hugs and kisses? And I may not know MAYBE you even had sex with her. I wouldn't know. I'm sorry for being too harsh. It's so easy for you to give her free kisses and hugs when you don't even have feelings for her. What's this about? And to someone, I think people like you can think very well.

So apparently I've been missing for like five days? Yeah. So last Wednesday was suppose to be following mummy for a shopping spree but since mummy was busy and I was really shagged by coming back early in the morn, so we postpone it to Thursday. So Wednesday night was partying for a little while. Met up with Nana, Fanny, Lanny and Du at Admiralty and Zura, Leha, Deedee and the rest at Boat Quay. The party, tak lamer langsung cause they were fights here and there. Sigh! Well, it was ladies night, but to bad the boys were paying fifteen bux for nothing. Down the drain seh, hahah! Walked to Clarke Quay and slack at the bridge opposite Riverisde. And the bass was calling, macam sial. Trained home with Nana, Du, Lanny and Fanny. And bed.

Thursday was a trip to Bugis for only a little while since mummy was meeting her friend at her crib, so yeah. I bought a electro design tee and a topshop top. And I know lovee doesn't like me wearing that topshop top that I bought. Alah dah TERbeli uh babe, sorry uh! Heh! Then off to Fernvale.

Friday, I accompanied Zura to East Coast to her sister side chalet only for a little while. Then to Fernvale. And lovee being such an ass when I said something that he doesn't like. So he walked with along the path and he stopped and sat down. I'll continue it later on. So after, argueing with each other. Slack head off to his crib for a little while.


So I spend my Saturday night at East Coast. Firstly met up with Nana and Bob. Then waited for Farid then off o my crib, to get myself ready. Bus ride to Fernvale slack with the boys and off to East Coast. The plan was to spend time with lovee together, just the two of us. Then Ajan, Nana, Yanti and Bob were with us, so the plan we had was drinking. And the boys opposite our tent, they were under the shelter, was so call, step gerek, for me lah. Entah macam maner Ajan boleh melekat dengan diorang, boleh kasi Friendster email lah tu lah ini lah! I fall sick that morning and lovee was there with me. And I was having backaching for not having a proper sleep. Thanks sis for the massage:) You care for me alot. So that moning till the sun rises up I didn't know what happen, cause I was taking a nap. So around nine plus we packed our stuff and off to McDonalds. Had our breakfast and then bus ride home.

Okay I continue it. I wasn't exactly, angry with him. But I was just asking. You shouldn't get so agitated and feel really irritated by me. Cause you know, YOU ARE IN THE WRONG! Not long after he raised his voice so did I raised mine. Infront of Mamat. I was really embarrassed, for god sake. Embarrassed of you, embarrassed of your disgusting actions, embarrassed of everything about you! It disgust me alot! I don't even know why am I still liking you, still loving you, falling for you, still care for you. I don't know why. I can't even imagine I just wrote that down. As you can see, I know I did alot of stuff behind your back.

Sometimes I would say, if you can do the exact same thing, why can't I? Why were you so upset when I ruined just a little bit of MYSELF with those thing(i just can't reveal it, it may hurt someone alot!)? Why were you? You shouldn't be crying for me, buat muker kesian kao dekat aku lah ehk. Sedangkan SUMER ORANG tahu kenaper aku buat ni sumer. If you really love me, care for me and say that you are committed in our relationship, but why are shits happening? From you, for god sake. FROM YOU! You being such a difficult person. Doing stuff behind my back and putting trust on someone so when I came asking her, she wouldn't spill the bean. Aper sak kao peh maksod? Pukimak peh jantan! I really had enough of you. I was tearing infront of you because of what? The same old stupid mistake you did. You even tell me you're so sick and tired of this. Ehk common lah, saper yang bersalah, aku ker kao, pukimak?!! Kalau kao berfikir, kao tahu kao peh limit. Ni sumer tak terjadi sial. Aku memang penah lah ehk, buat bende yang aku tak sepatutnyer buat blakang kao. But I've realised my mistake. I know whats my limit. It's no use knocking sense into you for like ALOT of times, kalau tak masok masok pon dalam kepaler otak kao. If you really want us to be together for a long period of time, gain my trust. Stop saying its up to me whether you wanna beleive it or not. Start saying I will gain your trust, please. And for now, I'm trying to gain my trust back from you. I'm really tring my fucking best. Believe me, we will go far. And I need you to stop doing stuff that will disgust me alot and which will hurt me alot. With that someone or with whoever lah.


I know my postition in our so call 'relationship'.
I know who I belong to. Remember that.

And why do I ask you why does she have to say those words which you think is not true? And why do you have to answer, that you don't even know why she's saying those words? Why?

:'(

9th DEC LINSIH
90609145

I just reached home. I'm dead beat. I'm starting to have this feelings like again. Well, what to do hahah. Like what Zamir say, 'that's life, you have to get on with it'. Hahaha.

So MAYBE shopping with mummy later at if I could wake up early. And then party with the love ones! Hell yeah, I'll make sure I wanna get myself high. Not drunk! (tapi aku peh suker uh nak mabok ker taknak, kalau kao fikir aper yang kao buat tu btol ker tk, then if you think you're wrong then you don't have the right to say whether I could get myself drunk or not! thanks ehk!)

will update more on just now and the present, heh!