So apparently I've been missing for like five days? Yeah. So last Wednesday was suppose to be following mummy for a shopping spree but since mummy was busy and I was really shagged by coming back early in the morn, so we postpone it to Thursday. So Wednesday night was partying for a little while. Met up with Nana, Fanny, Lanny and Du at Admiralty and Zura, Leha, Deedee and the rest at Boat Quay. The party, tak lamer langsung cause they were fights here and there. Sigh! Well, it was ladies night, but to bad the boys were paying fifteen bux for nothing. Down the drain seh, hahah! Walked to Clarke Quay and slack at the bridge opposite Riverisde. And the bass was calling, macam sial. Trained home with Nana, Du, Lanny and Fanny. And bed.

Thursday was a trip to Bugis for only a little while since mummy was meeting her friend at her crib, so yeah. I bought a electro design tee and a topshop top. And I know lovee doesn't like me wearing that topshop top that I bought. Alah dah TERbeli uh babe, sorry uh! Heh! Then off to Fernvale.

Friday, I accompanied Zura to East Coast to her sister side chalet only for a little while. Then to Fernvale. And lovee being such an ass when I said something that he doesn't like. So he walked with along the path and he stopped and sat down. I'll continue it later on. So after, argueing with each other. Slack head off to his crib for a little while.


So I spend my Saturday night at East Coast. Firstly met up with Nana and Bob. Then waited for Farid then off o my crib, to get myself ready. Bus ride to Fernvale slack with the boys and off to East Coast. The plan was to spend time with lovee together, just the two of us. Then Ajan, Nana, Yanti and Bob were with us, so the plan we had was drinking. And the boys opposite our tent, they were under the shelter, was so call, step gerek, for me lah. Entah macam maner Ajan boleh melekat dengan diorang, boleh kasi Friendster email lah tu lah ini lah! I fall sick that morning and lovee was there with me. And I was having backaching for not having a proper sleep. Thanks sis for the massage:) You care for me alot. So that moning till the sun rises up I didn't know what happen, cause I was taking a nap. So around nine plus we packed our stuff and off to McDonalds. Had our breakfast and then bus ride home.

Okay I continue it. I wasn't exactly, angry with him. But I was just asking. You shouldn't get so agitated and feel really irritated by me. Cause you know, YOU ARE IN THE WRONG! Not long after he raised his voice so did I raised mine. Infront of Mamat. I was really embarrassed, for god sake. Embarrassed of you, embarrassed of your disgusting actions, embarrassed of everything about you! It disgust me alot! I don't even know why am I still liking you, still loving you, falling for you, still care for you. I don't know why. I can't even imagine I just wrote that down. As you can see, I know I did alot of stuff behind your back.

Sometimes I would say, if you can do the exact same thing, why can't I? Why were you so upset when I ruined just a little bit of MYSELF with those thing(i just can't reveal it, it may hurt someone alot!)? Why were you? You shouldn't be crying for me, buat muker kesian kao dekat aku lah ehk. Sedangkan SUMER ORANG tahu kenaper aku buat ni sumer. If you really love me, care for me and say that you are committed in our relationship, but why are shits happening? From you, for god sake. FROM YOU! You being such a difficult person. Doing stuff behind my back and putting trust on someone so when I came asking her, she wouldn't spill the bean. Aper sak kao peh maksod? Pukimak peh jantan! I really had enough of you. I was tearing infront of you because of what? The same old stupid mistake you did. You even tell me you're so sick and tired of this. Ehk common lah, saper yang bersalah, aku ker kao, pukimak?!! Kalau kao berfikir, kao tahu kao peh limit. Ni sumer tak terjadi sial. Aku memang penah lah ehk, buat bende yang aku tak sepatutnyer buat blakang kao. But I've realised my mistake. I know whats my limit. It's no use knocking sense into you for like ALOT of times, kalau tak masok masok pon dalam kepaler otak kao. If you really want us to be together for a long period of time, gain my trust. Stop saying its up to me whether you wanna beleive it or not. Start saying I will gain your trust, please. And for now, I'm trying to gain my trust back from you. I'm really tring my fucking best. Believe me, we will go far. And I need you to stop doing stuff that will disgust me alot and which will hurt me alot. With that someone or with whoever lah.


I know my postition in our so call 'relationship'.
I know who I belong to. Remember that.

And why do I ask you why does she have to say those words which you think is not true? And why do you have to answer, that you don't even know why she's saying those words? Why?

:'(